Black Gold and Unphiltered: Up and Over the Hill

Black Gold and Unphiltered: Up and Over the Hill: Most of us have heard Bill Cosby’s classic joke from his stand up performance “Himself” where he makes fun of the elderly for saying things ...

Up and Over the Hill

Most of us have heard Bill Cosby’s classic joke from his stand up performance “Himself” where he makes fun of the elderly for saying things like, “I used to have to walk back and forth to school and it was uphill BOTH ways!!”  (For the record I DID walk uphill both ways..over a mile… from the age of six…because both Washington Elementary and my house were at the top of huge hills…..just sayin….)

Things have changed.  I’m not sure if there are “walkers” anymore.  Now, being a teacher, sometimes I get caught behind this one school bus if I’m just seconds later than usual in my morning routine.  It LITERALLY stops three times within the span of maybe 4 telephone poles!!  Maybe the length of a football field.  No joke. And all 3 stops are within a mile of school.

Anyway….I’m afraid (the last story being an example) that I am becoming the guy Bill Cosby is making fun of.  Yes I’ve used the phrase “kid’s these days…”  Sure it’s more common among teachers, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.  I’m old.

Now that said….what I’m REALLY afraid of is that this generation of children IS different.  Any of my fellow teachers who are reading this (why I don’t know) can correct me if they think I’m wrong, but it really does seem different than when I was a teenager….in many ways and for many reasons….and I worry for my own kids future (ages 11 and 13).

I know kids have always been basically the same. Spreading their wings, testing the waters, pushing the envelope, etc….. Listen, I saw Dazed and Confused.  I know what the 70’s were like. “I keep getting older and they stay the same age,” says the great Matthew McConnaughey. I knew my share of “Slaters”(a hilarious character by the way.) on my street when I was a young kid, and I grew up through the 80’s, but the usual rebelious and experimental teen is not who I’m talking about.  Heck, it’s not even the teens themselves.  It’s the world they are dropped into.

If you’re basically an optimist in regards to the human race in general and you are hopeful for the future of our society do me one favor and accept this challenge.  Try one of these two things:

a.       Spend 90 minutes in a local bar after say….9:30 PM and just listen. Preferably one that has FOX News playing overhead on one of the TVs.  My guess is that you will opt to stay for an additional 90 minutes, order 3 more beers AND that you will be silently wishing ill on at least one of the bar guests.

Or

b.      Spend one full day with a freshman at school and just listen.  (or maybe just sit in my classroom.) Listen to what they talk about, how they say it, and the ease with which they speak of it before class starts.    

If you try B….and DON’T immediately go to the local bar in option A…..I applaud you.

I do both on a regular basis…most of the time on the same day…and it is sheer willpower that keeps me off of the railing of the Clemente Bridge, naked, holding a bowling ball.  It can be that depressing.  

Anyway, what I’m about to say is the typical thing my dad said, and his dad said…..and probably all the Macioce dad’s for ages.  Kids ARE different  “these days”.  But here is why I am right, where the other Mr.Macioce’s were wrong. (sorry dad.)

It’s not the kids themselves that are worse or more “evil” as some would like to put it.  It’s the world that they have grown into that is different than any other.  And it is in this world where today’s adolescent has evolved into a life form the likes of which have never been seen here on earth.

When I grew up I had 4 or 5 good friends within a two block radius to play with and a handful of girls in my age range to obsess over and tip toe around verbally.  I lived in a bubble and my fear of everyone and everything made that bubble even smaller.  I had my little world. I dominated the sports played there on a daily basis (only because I was the oldest), hung with those few friends, and went home to probably pick on my brothers or do whatever it is I did to pass those 10 or so years of my life.

Today, due to world-shrinking technology, a kid has hundreds of friends, sometimes in multiple cities or states, to choose from and I don’t even want to begin to talk about the idea of girls and relationships on the internet. (I like to think I would have had a lot more luck with the ladies if I could hide behind a computer or cell phone screen…..at least I tell myself that. It makes me feel better.)

Look, my sex education mostly stemmed from a magazine I found in a ravine I had to pass through delivering papers. I wouldn’t see another naked woman or use any of that “education” for many years….I will give no specific numbers.  A funny story for another time is when my mother found my gold mine under my bed.  She referred to it as “trash”. Ah….losing that trash hurt for a while. Anyway…..today you don’t have to comb ravines for old magazines. That same “education” can be had by any kid at any age at most any computer with the click of a mouse.  Kids who stumble upon this “trash” will have seen more sex in one hour or so than I saw my entire adolescent life. Unfortunately that is no exaggeration.  (And I brought a daughter into this world??? Now you know why I frequent local bars.)

Let’s pretend, and this is PURELY hypothetical trust me, that I had a girl friend at the age of 14 (the average age of the kid I teach now.)  I would probably have had maybe 4 meaningful conversations with her in one week…..three of which were probably about homework or something insanely exciting.  Yes four is probably the most times I could bring myself to pick up our one rotary phone in the kitchen to call this ficticious girl in one week….sweaty palms, pounding heart, and all.  I could see each riveting conversation lasting 47 seconds or so on average before I exhausted the extent of my “game”.

Today, a typical 14 yr old “couple” has had that many conversations before they even get on the bus on Monday morning, via txt or whatnot…….Imagine. Dozens and dozens of different conversations going on continuously all day! WHILE you do other things! And no face to face filter to curb some of the emotions and reactions.  The relationships of kids these days are so accelerated at such an exponential rate compared to ours it is ridiculous. 

The problem is they have the same 14 yr old hormones and maturity that all of their predecessors had. They are NOT EQUIPPED emotionally to have the types of relationships they are attempting to have or to process the information that is available to them on a device the size of their hand. (It doesn’t help that most parents are so technologically behind that they don’t even KNOW any of this is going on.  I’m exposed to it daily and I can barely keep up.)

Is it any wonder our kids have probably a quarter of the attention span we had?  And my attention span was very limited.  Is it really a surprise that most 8^th and 9^th graders are at a point in boy/girlfriend relationships that I only thought about at the age of maybe 17? (Yes I realize my case is special and that I was a dork….not the point!)

What do we do as parents? Is the best thing to hope they make it through their Life - Crash Course alive and unscathed and that their maturity catches up to their experiences eventually without any major disasters? Ya ya ya…I know….raise them the right way and they’ll make the right decisions. I get that….but there are a hell of a lot more decisions they have to make at an age where they are not ready to do so…..As with everything else….it’s all math baby!

I remember saving up money from my paper route to go buy ALBUMS. My library of music did not expand very quickly. I would go to Kmart to buy something like Rubber Soul by the Beatles and listen to it until I couldn’t anymore before I bought another.

Today our kids have access to ANY Song by ANY artist, with or without Parental Warnings and they can get that song immediately and for free. We, as parents will never see an album cover, never see lyrics, and never even hear what they are listening too with the headphones permanently attached to our kids’ ears.  I like to think I keep on top of things with my daughter but it would literally take me weeks of listening to all of her music 24/7 to get through her playlist. 

Im sorry dad but worrying about the Beatles’ lyrics on Magical Mystery Tour is slightly less stressful than say….Eminem.  I’d much rather have my kid listening to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand “  than “I F…ckng Hate You “ by Godsmack…….call me crazy.

What’s my point? Do I think we are going to hell in a hand basket…uphill…..both ways? (I’m pretty sure we can’t RETURN from hell though……unless you count the reincarnation of Captain Kangaroo as the female store manager at Applebees in Penn Town Center….)

No I’m not really there….yet.  It’s just this:  I want to positively affect the world around me. I want to make a difference.  I want people to see how wonderful things can be when life is approached a certain way…..the way we were intended to live.  God created us for that purpose.

So when I’m sitting at that local bar or standing in front of my class, or walking through the halls, the shear volume of ignorance, selfishness, racism, meanness, and stupidity that cascades over me on a daily basis is unbelievably deflating and overwhelming and makes me want to give up.  And I’m hearing the same thing in school that I’m hearing at the bar!!! What difference can I possibly make?  It’s so hard to buy into the “one at a time” philosophy of affecting lives.  I feel so outnumbered. 

It could be that I’m a grumpy old man now.

It could be that I have my own kids.

It could be my mom isn’t here to model love and holiness on a daily basis.

It could be all of the above.

But that’s not where my my money is….We face a new enemy today. And it’s the same one that is bringing you this blog….or anything else you’re reading on this screen.  My grandchildrens’ generation may actually be better off because they are able to deal with the technology that seems like it “jumped” a generation. God I hope so and I hope my kids are better at fighting the fight.  Most days I feel like I’m losing…..or maybe I AM the butt of Cosby jokes and I AM just old. 

I wonder if whatsername would have gone out with me if I could text in the 80’s…….