Unsung Heros

I am currently reading a book entitled “Everything I Never Told You”, written by a local woman actually, Celeste Ng (who ALSO went to the University of Michigan thank you very much), and it has really hit a nerve and shed light on one of my greatest fears, not just as a person, but also as a parent. 

As a result of turning my mind toward that fear, the book has also left me feeling an incredible debt toward a group of people that I’m not sure all of us consider often enough.

Last night, as I sat at this same computer, I witnessed two things that brought my thoughts about the book screaming to the front of my mind. It was then that I felt a warm feeling of relief and gratitude that might have even led to a tear if seconds later Pedro Alvarez hadn’t struck out AGAIN with a runner in scoring position.

My fourteen year old son Andrew sat at the TV playing a game on XBOX.  (Yes! The dreaded video game system that is destroying our children and the country!! – lighten up.)  These days, though, you don’t just play a game alone.  With headphones on he is not just playing FIFA15, he is playing WITH his friends while talking with them at the same time.  It’s almost like every night Andrew has a conference call with this closest pals. 

The sound of his laughter during those times, as they exhort as well as throw jabs at each other, is some of the greatest music to my ears.  Also, listening to them hammer out the answers to some of life’s greatest questions, like which is the best flavor of Ramen noodles, is highly entertaining.

As they laughed through one such argument last nigh, my daughter Adeline (16) then passed by on her way out the door to take part in a monumental occurrence in the lives of her and her two friends, who she has known since pre-school.  One of the girls recently became the first of the group to get her driver’s license and tonight was their first trip in a car together without an adult.  (Yes I was petrified).  The excitement and laughter as they drove off added to the moment and emotion I was feeling. Maybe it was my male time of the month. As insignificant as those few minutes last night may seem to some, I shudder at the thought of parents and children that don’t have such experiences.

The father in “Everything I never told you” has a great fear that his son will have the same childhood that he had.  A quiet and slight boy, always alone and the target of many a joke or prank - for the most part friendless. As he realizes that his young son IS in fact living such a life my heart sinks as the reader. 

Some of the absolute saddest moments for me as a high school teacher is to see the kid alone at the cafeteria table.  Before my children were born my biggest fear was that it would be he or she that sat alone on a daily basis.  How could I control that? I couldn’t follow them to school.  How can I take charge of my kid’s social life and assure his/her inclusion and happiness? How could I shield them from bullies?

It is with all of this in mind that my heart fills with the gratitude I previously mentioned.  I’m not sure I will ever be able to properly express this to the group of kids that Adeline and Andrew have or have had in their lives to date.  These friends who shepherd them through the parts of life that I can not.  The sounding boards that they can bounce the shit off of that life throws at them.  These wonderful children with all of their own problems and flaws hold a big part of my kid’s emotional well- being in their unknowing hands.

I love all of them and think of them as my own, and I wish they could know that in a - non creepy guy that always picks them up from practice and makes stupid jokes – sort of way.  I haven’t even mentioned the thank you I owe to the parents of these kids.

For that matter, how sad is it that I don’t spend enough time thanking of or even catching up with MY group of childhood and adolescent friends. Whether we acknowledge it or not……whether we give thanks or not….this group, if we were blessed enough to have it, was one of the most important groups of people to ever enter our lives.  I think of these people so much more than they know.  I still do and say things that were directly from or directly influenced by them.

What a fun thing it is to watch this part of the lives of Adeline and Andrew.  Tonight as I watch the Pirates battle the best team in baseball and drink for many other reasons, I will also drink a toast to my friends and the friends of my children who were or are such a large part of our life’s journey and education.

I firmly believe it still takes a community ……the community just looks very different.  The streets where we all used to play have been replaced in part by internet cables and wi-fi…..but they’re still there….and I thank God for the friends at the other end.

Punting Kittens vol.18

Ok….I need to rant.  I’m in one of those moods where I’m 2 minutes from becoming that guy in the movie Falling Down with the broken glasses and a baseball bat….and this will take too long for a facebook post. Yes it’s that bad.

So today’s edition of things that make me want to punt a kitten?.... Rebates.

I hope the guy who invented this idea is being slowly tortured in hell while he waits for the rebate on his after-life to process in some run down, south western Idaho, office building where the employees are paid $6.24 an hour with no benefits or vacation.

What IS the point of the rebate anyway? Are businesses just “banking” on the one out of seven customers that are disorganized boobs or too lazy to follow through? How is this even legal?

“Well sir….yes your contacts are in fact $425 for a two month supply…but that’s before the rebate! I have the forms for you right here. It’s such a great deal!”

To steal a line from the legendary movie Spinal Tap…….Lick My Love Pump.  Just give me my money.

Who comes up with the directions on these forms? Are they laughing in some board room writing them on a white board while they partake of the morning donuts and coffee?

“Oh wait…wait..add this Joe….Have them mail the receipts in triplicate along with a bar code from the product and 3 box tops from Kellogs cereal and a drug free sample of their urine!....no wait! A FAMILY member’s urine!!....”

And why are there expiration dates???? If I complete the nine step obstacle course to qualify for my discount then time should NOT matter! Money is money. A rebate is a rebate. I don’t care if I missed the deadline and it’s no longer the Chinese Year of the Cock.  Show. Me. The. Money.

And you know what??? Make it ACTUAL MONEY!! You don’t even get cash or a check anymore! It’s a #$%#$$T$%W#Q#$ng DEBIT card!! I have at least 3 piece of crap cards in my wallet that still have $1.27 or something left on them.  Getting exactly your money’s worth without spending even MORE than you wanted on your damn contacts/applicance/whatever is impossible. This isn’t good business. This isn’t high functioning Capitalism….this is vindictive enteprenureal (?) bull shit and I’m not going to stand for it anymore.

There has to be a way to get these people back.  I would love to end up teaching the child of one of the people that have stuck me with a big fiscal FU masked as a rebate.

“Well Mr. Blow…..Joe jr. DID earn a 94% this marking period. All you have to do is follow the directions on that Math Grade Rebate form I sent home and the final 25% of his grade goes in the books!! Isn’t that great?? Have a nice day!” Click.

Please. Explain the difference between that and the hundreds of dollars sitting in discount purgatory that I have pissed away because I AM that boob who is too disorganized to get to the forms buried in the basket on my dining room table with all the unpaid bills, old school pictures, and take out menus…..(a basket which also may cause a divorce one day).

I got your rebate right here Mr. Your Family Eye Doctor….and no I don’t want to buy a back-up pair of eye glasses as a matter of fact. If something goes wrong with my $500 contacts I’ll just sit right here in the dark and wait for my Visa debit card to arrive thank you very much. Then I’m going to buy a dozen eggs with it and trash that stupid sign in your parking lot.

There. I feel better. Thanks for reading.

(Disclaimer: No kittens were harmed during this blog entry. I love kittens…..until they become cats…..and then we have the subject of a future rant……the cycle continues.)

I need help.

Pittsburgh Penguins 2014-15: Be Careful What You Wish For

My mother always told me to be careful what I wished for….

And while I’m quoting my favorite people, some cool Springsteen lyrics also read: “Don't you know before you choose your wish son you'd better think first
'Cause with every wish there comes a curse"
                        -Bruce Springsteen, “With Every Wish”                 

 

So just remember Pittsburgh sports fans as this Penguin season unfolds…

You…….asked……..for …. it.

 

“Who are these guys?”

“I can’t name 5 players.”

“We’re rebuilding.”

“This is going to be a down year.”

These are all things I’ve heard lately as the season approaches.

This from the same people who were up in arms last year (and rightfully so..) after the Penguins were eliminated after another lackluster playoff performance.

“No more country club hockey!!!”

“We’re soft!”

“Bylsma sucks. He can’t adjust.”

“Get rid of some of these prima donna high priced bums.”

As you wish……….

 

Last night the Los Angeles Kings raised their Stanley Cup banner…..for the SECOND time in three years……No flash….no president’s trophies for best record….no high profile players bigger than the game…..and EACH time they came into the playoffs at the bottom half of the playoff standings and fought their way to championships or close…..

I bring this up because I am POSITIVE that as soon as the Pens are hanging around in 2^nd or 3^rd place in January and February and losing some games to the Islanders and Hurricanes at home that people around here will be livid and asking for the heads of the coach and the GM.

When in all reality they got exactly what they wished for…..

Let the team gel and find it’s comfort level around Sid and Geno.  Shut your mouth and watch them grow together so that in April they are ready to go and fight for a championship.

Many of you are too young to remember the Lemieux Cup years. Well let me do the research for you. The two years we WON the Cup back to back in 1991 and 92 we were 3^rd and 4^th in the division……and in 1993 when we had probably the best Penguin team EVER….we lost to the hard working over achieving New York Islanders……..

I think the moral of the story is obvious.  It’s what I hate about hockey and I made that all too clear on social media last spring (sorry…..).  Talent and skill is not the top priority in the NHL playoffs....but that is the reality of the situation, and the Pens have dealt with it……and if history is an indication it is the way to go…ask the Pens of the 90’s…and the Kings of today…..

So please…..when it’s 10 below and the Pens are playing on a Wednesday night in February and they come out flat and lose to the Florida Panthers in front of a sellout crowd….get your hand OFF of the keyboard…and just shut your virtual pie holes and wait for April, May…..AND June…..

Sid is going to take this TEAM to the top. Write it down. When it counts WE will be the team overachieving……you asked for it…..and you will get it.

I’ll see you next Fall at the Consol when the Pens raise their 4^th banner on Opening Night…. Let someone else have the President’s trophy.  Fans in some other city are wishing for that…..they can have it….and the curse that goes with it.

We are taking the Silver.

Don’t get to comfortable Elvis………..Let’s Go Pens!!!!

Penguins and Bass fishing

This damn blog was supposed to be focused a great deal on sports way back when it began, so I would like to take advantage of the current Penguin crisis to get back on track.

For the one or two of you who remember (me included), I had a very similar message/rant after the playoffs last year.  This year I’m going to get it out there BEFORE the end. And yes there is a better than decent chance that tonight could BE the end. Game 7’s are a coin flip as we all know here in the Burgh…..(see 93, 95, 10? etc..etc…). Hell throw in Fransisco Cabrerra too. It’s all the same nightmare.

Why is this year’s message similar? Why shouldn’t I just cut and paste from the spring of 2013? Because nothing ever changes…and I’m NOT talking about the Penguins or their management…I’m talking about hockey. As much as we may WANT it to change it never will. No matter what they say or do in the regular season, hockey will always remain the only sport that has a different brand of play in it’s post-season.  NO OTHER sport changes.

This isn’t sour grapes. These are facts.

Imagine pass interference NOT being called very often in the NFL playoffs…..putting away the whistles after the 2:00 warning. Antonio Brown is tackled at the five before he can catch the game winning TD but….it’s the playoffs…… They would have to physically replace referees after games at Heinz Field…and I would be in jail.

Imagine an umpire cutting his strike zone in half during the World Series? Or (gasp) NOT calling a foul on LeFlop James in the NBA championship……

Imagine pitchers beaning players on the other team when their team is down 6-1 in the 8^th inning of game 6 to “send a message” for game 7…….oh that’s playoff baseball folks!!!!

                                                            ******

So here’s my message, or better yet, my QUESTION to the fans here.

What is it that you want???

We’ve  been blessed for the last 3 decades with many of the greatest players to take the ice. No team has a banner like the one at Consol listing all of the scoring titles won by Penguins. No one. Not even close.

Is that what you want? Do you want to have that pride and the ability to talk trash on any opposing fan? “Hey pal, Do you have an 87? No. Do you have a 71? No. Do you have a 66? No. Do you have 68? No.”

Or do you want the Championship banners?? Do you want the entertainment year around and also year in and year out of watching the most talented players? Or do you want players you may or may not remember years from now that win you more Cup banners than the THREE we have in the past THIRTY years despite all that talent??

I can’t name too many New Jersey Devils from all of their Cups other than Matrin Brodeur. Do you think New Jersey fans care???

So, should we keep 87, 71, and put our money into 15 other blue collar hard working players?? Would it be fun to finish 5^th or 6^th and then scream our heads off at Consol in the playoffs when our guys are hitting and frustrating another teams stars?.... and Fleury or another goalie are “stealing” games with 45+ save performances??? Honest questions. What are YOUR answers?

*****

It’s not just that we don’t have a good locker room or don’t have leadership. There may be some truth to those statements but let’s not kid ourselves…you don’t lose a 7-game series because of those flaws. The talent disparity between the Pens and Rangers is ridiculous.

Hockey won’t change.  CBC and NBC will never accept a completely skill based sport. They’ll never take the “tough” element out of the playoffs. They’ll continue to throw the typical crap out here during their coverage and glorify those types of players.

When the Pens retaliated the other night they were “frustrated”……When Boston reacted last night they were “sending a message” because it was their tough guys.

So which is it? Which do you want? And don’t give me “both”.  Teams like the Pens of the early 90’s, Wings of the later 90’s, and the Hawks today are the exception…they had or have so much talent they overcome these things occasionally OR maybe like our Cup team in 2009 they hit on the perfect mix and chemistry.….

I KNOW you have to play the games and how the teams look on paper doesn’t matter. I get that. But when it happens every single year it gets ridiculous. Look at every other sport. The team that wins is ALWAYS a talented top tier team. ALWAYS. I defy you to find an example where that’s not the case.

It’s getting to the point in hockey where there IS NO point to having the most talent.

So which do you want? Should Shero dismantle and retool the team with ball busters that have a skill level one or two notches below what we are used to here? Or do we continue to plug away with all-world type talent. I’m not sure what I would even answer.

All that said……here’s to us scoring 7 goals tonight and watching King Henry the Ass Clown get pulled, and then moving on to beating the Bruins and Hawks to be Cup champs. There is the usual optimistic part of me that truly believes that is going to happen. I get made fun of for it all the time.

Of course I’ll delete this post immediately should that happen……

Most likely, though, we all know the drill.  Tonight is too predictable. The Penguins will come out on fire, possess the puck for the first two periods, completely dominate, but get stoned by Lundquist.

Then somewhere in the middle of the 3^rd a ref will make a horrible call or the Rangers will get one of their typical Flyer-like bounces in the crease off of someone’s jock strap and we will lose 2-0 after an empty netter.

We’ve all been watching for too long not to know I’m probably right.

Maybe I should start watching Bass Fishing? Are there playoffs in Bass Fishing? Do the best bass fishers win championships or do opposing fishers tackle them while their fishing in the playoffs…..maybe I’ll check that out after tonight.

Please Read: FR Strong - You Think You Know...

I know I haven’t used this blog in forever but what I need to say is far too long for a facebook post or tweet.

Also, before I get back into annoying my social media circles with constant Penguin/Pirate/general rant updates, I wouldn’t feel right by many people if  I didn’t address the significance of the events of the past week first, before I began to get silly.

A while back on here I posted a clip (though in a much more light hearted vein then) of Jim Mora telling reporters who were trying to tell him how to do his job, “You think you know. But you don’t know.”

Well, before the events last Wednesday there was a great deal I thought I knew, that I clearly did not.……

You think you know how MANY, who IS, or who EVER thinks about you, but when everything happened last week it turned out I had no idea.

I can not tell you how overwhelmed I was by the texts, posts, messages, calls, and thoughts and prayers in general that I received this week. I feel guilty that I haven’t been able to tell each and every one of you how much every single message meant. The out pouring was very humbling and I was choked up all week as it washed over me every day. I can’t thank you all enough for everything. I hope you know it is things like that that made everything ok.  If I haven’t had a chance to respond or even just “like” your comment J please know how much it meant to me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The Lord used you all week to comfort me. 

You think you know how you are going to react in certain situations, but no matter how many times you may imagine them, you just don’t know….

Much of  Wednesday the 9th is a blur. I went from complaining about what I thought was a false fire alarm at 7AM to running back in the building and down a blood covered hallway in the span of less than a minute.  I was fortunate enough to be outside the wing where everything happened when I came out, so I could go back in to find a student, who I saw through a window slumped over a desk.  I had no idea what was happening. I hope that had I known what was really going on my reaction would have been the same, but I Just. Don’t. Know.   As is normal, I have reviewed events many times and wondered what else there is that could have or should have been done.

As it turned out, I was luckily able to assist and sit with a student of mine who had been stabbed in the stomach, of all things, until the EMTs finally took him.  I can’t mention his name but he was the most brave, calm, composed, and polite kid during the worst moments of his life. I thought I knew what a seriously injured 16 year old kid would be like while losing blood in a classroom without friends or family around……..but I had no idea.

 I will never forget his maturity and bravery in that situation. I was more angry and frustrated than he was with EMT’s who would come in and then leave after assessing his situation.  It turns out his liver, stomach, and pancreas were all damaged. He still can’t eat solid food…..and the first thing he wanted to do when he awoke in the hospital? Write thank you notes……This is the youth of the world….not the ones that get headlines on TV.  Today he was released from the ICU and should make a full recovery.

I thought I knew how I would react as the adult in such a situation. I thought I could check my emotions until it was over……but I kept seeing my own son laying there, losing blood, losing color, and losing the ability to breathe deeply….. and I imagined the parents during that time period and my heart broke for them over and over.  If only I could conjure up mental telepathy or something so they could know their son was being so strong and as composed as any adult at the scene.

So many talking heads out there want to know how we at the school could not see this coming.  I always thought I’d know if I looked into the eyes of a student every damn day for 150 straight days in my classroom that I would know or see something….anything…that would lead me to believe he was capable of such an atrocity. I’m good at my job right? I know kids right?  Turns out……I didn’t know. 

I, and all of Alex’s teachers, will kick ourselves every day for a long time for not seeing something.  I pray to God every day for his parents and how they must feel for not seeing it either. I can’t even imagine……..no one can.

Anyone……any expert who tries to read from their expert handbook and tell me or his parents what signs we should have seen is spouting nonsense.  Anyone who even dares to tell me that “armed teachers” would have made a difference better damn well hope I am NOT armed if they are near me. No weapon in the world would have been used to fire into a hallway of hundreds of kids to find the ONE running though them with knives.  No one knows the answer or the possible solution for what happened.  NO ONE.  There is no handbook for this.

You may think you know what’s best to do tomorrow when 1300 kids come into the building dealing with this in 1300 different ways…..but you don’t.  I will be winging it.

 

I will tell you what I DO know, though. 

Good is greater than evil.

There is MORE good in the world than there is evil.

 I’m positive of that even more now than I was BEFORE all of this. It’s just that evil gets the headlines and the air time.

All this incident did was shine a light on all of the love that is in our community, and in our world.  God doesn’t send a kid up the hall stabbing his classmates.  God lives in and uses the thousands and thousands of people that reacted to ONE evil act to help the healing that needed to happen. Our world is flawed. God is not.

Even though it seemed impossible before last week, I know that I love my children even more today than I did last Wednesday.

I know that both you and I care way too much about insignificant things on a daily basis. (Except for maybe the Penguin playoffs coming up….or whether the Pirates are going to start hitting soon.)

I’ve gone on long enough but I felt the need to share once and for all my thoughts, and to thank you once again for your thoughts and prayers for me and our school community. I will never forget it.

Lastly, I encourage you to go and to tell those close to you how you feel.  Tell them how much you love them….for you may think you know that you have plenty of time for that…….but honestly?  You really don’t.

Now......Let's Go Pens!!! Let's go Bucs!!!!

Black Gold and Unphiltered: DOMA Oregato Mr. Roboto

Black Gold and Unphiltered: DOMA Oregato Mr. Roboto: ya....I don't even know what that means. Thank Defense of Marriage Act Mr. Robot? I'm pretty sure robots are sexless....but what do...

DOMA Oregato Mr. Roboto

ya....I don't even know what that means. Thank Defense of Marriage Act Mr. Robot?
I'm pretty sure robots are sexless....but what do I know....and Dennis DeYoung of STYX may have been gay.

Whatever....

I'm blogging today for two reasons.

1. I opted for this instead of a straight status message on Facebook. Those back and forths with close minded people really make my heart hurt.....literally.

2. Man am I pissed.

The ruling of DOMA as unconstitutional has brought a huge issue for me to a head and I have to get it out there once and for all, and try my best not to offend close friends.....so here it goes.

I literally read from the Bible every day, as many of my Christian friends probably do.  But I'm not talking about randomly chosen phrases and devotionals. I read and reread it as a whole and I will continue to do so for as long as I can read.  More the New Testament than the Old but I read it as a whole...as it was written throughout the centuries......with some guidance from scholars like the great N.T.Wright - maybe the best of New Testament scholars out there. It is how it was written and how it was meant to be read. A history of our faith, and if you really understand it, a history of humanity.

My point is this....not to make myself sound better......for I am truly at the bottom of the barrel as far as Christians living out their faith and witnessing to it......I know that. I suck.

But I can not stand by anymore and watch Christians miss the BIG picture.
Whyyyyyyyyyy do we focus so much time, energy, and hatred on homosexuality????

When you read and reread the Bible as one big testament to our faith and the human race and God's relationship with us it is so much bigger, so much better, so much more meaningful and beautiful.....and then so many of the issues that have caused so much pain sort of drip away into the background and merge with the rest of what makes us human.

I will not comment or make judgment on someone's personal feelings or views on homosexuality....but I will comment on their approach and reaction to it.

Stop reading the Bible as a constitution or a rule book. That is NOT what it is. We are becoming no different than the Jewish hierarchy that Jesus came back to admonish for making life and faith ONLY about the Law and pretty much making their faith like an elite club.......Jesus, and what he did, abolished the law.

I'm not saying anything goes obviously and that there are no rules or sin.....but Jesus, if I may paraphrase the Lord (is that wise?).....Jesus was saying "It's not the LAW stupid......it's your LIFE"
The law comes along for the ride when you live your life as you should. It is written on your hearts.

Look, if couples are getting married IN YOUR CHURCH and you feel it's wrong then take issue WITH YOUR CHURCH...single out and.cite a few phrases in the Bible all you want.....but my guess is most of these people aren't getting married in YOUR CHURCH because they are probably not accepted there.....so leave it alone. This (DOMA) was a civil issue today.........and thaty is different and separate whether you like it or not.

I love our  God and Jesus just like some of you........but I also love my neighbor......or try too!!!! And hey....some of those neighbors are gay......and wonderful people.....some are even Christian.....and much better Christians than some of the hateful believers I know....and the Lord loves both.

Leave it alone. Please. Tend to the logs in your own eye. Shore up the glass in your own house. Love your neighbor no matter what HIS house is made of......or what goes on inside.  If you think Jesus wouldn't do the same.......then you're just not getting the big picture.....or maybe even getting it at all.

Just love. It's really that simple.